enjoy the process

Is there ever a good time for change? It’s clearly a rhetorical question, however, it’s worth considering. When considering new opportunities, it’s often said that “change is not convenient”. A new job, career, home, or even a new hair style (for me, at least) can cause varying levels of discomfort and anxiety.

Fortunately, I’ve learned that what follows these temporary and undesirable feelings are positive results. Excluding some of my past hairstyles, of course. However, learning to embrace the change with strength, humor and grace can ease the transition. Deciding to write, began as an unsettling endeavor, yet it has progressed into a gratifying purpose. Shifting the role from a full-time Mom, which was very cozy, to finding a new daily routine, has opened an abundance of opportunities. Nevertheless, it takes patience and a whole lot of support to move toward my destination.

The decision to make the change is the first step to your goal, however, this first step can be the most unsettling. It’s important to remember that negative feelings are temporary and will pass as you move forward. Transformation over time, from the ease of doing the same ole’ thing every day, to creating new experiences, will expand Self Love.

The power of visualization, which is to “recall or form mental images or pictures”, has been an effective tool for reaching my goals. Visualizing myself as the character, i.e. Carrie Bradshaw from the HBO series Sex in the City, motivated me to write. She made it look so easy and fun! My mental image may sound silly, however, visualizations can bring “positive energy into your mind, body and spirit” and inspire you to pursue your dreams. There are reasons why this mental practice has been used in meditation and behavior modification for years. Athletes use this technique before a game or competition to “outline each step they will take to accomplish their goal.” My son, who is a Gymnast, always visualizes his routines right before he is about to compete. It’s a mental rehearsal.

Excuses for keeping the same old behavior will hinder the decision to make a change.

Finding the time, is a big excuse for me. I find it beneficial to acknowledge that inconvenience is merely a justification for avoiding the discomfort. Carving a few moments out of the day to do something new and uncomfortable is challenging and rewarding. The act of sitting down to write can be overwhelming, and for me, related to cooking dinner. The question of what to cook, going to the grocery store to buy the ingredients and then putting it all together for the family can make my head spin… until I get it done. The irony about dreading to cook dinner is that after it’s completed, I feel a sense of accomplishment, which is exactly how I feel after I write.

Growth comes from change”. “If it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger”. “Change doesn’t occur overnight”. “Nothing comes easy”. “Fight through the pain”. “Change is for the better”. These are some of the common mottos used to cope with new experiences while creating new habits. These may be clichés, however, they are positive and valuable messages that we need to remember. If there is no personal test, challenge or pain… there will be no change.

Here’s the love

Despite all the aches, discomfort, and fear that is felt with change, taking a risk can create excitement, purpose, and a sense of accomplishment. All of which are the framework for Self-Love.


Jules With Love small