Have you ever noticed that when you feel really good about yourself, everyone else seems so much more likable?
I had this thought one day while Facebook stalking (you know you do it too). I would chuckle and mock at some of the posts that I felt were braggadocios (excerpts about vacations, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.). Annoyance and disdain for this type of public gratuitous information was disconcerting to me. Despite learning that these feelings are very common, I didn’t like how it made me feel. I decided to go against my initial cynicism and reply to a “braggy” post with a compliment. This little experiment turned out to be an amazing life lesson. I was surprised how good it felt to be positive, despite my underlying disapproval. This juxtaposition of feelings was new to me and needed further reflection.
What I concluded came from all the information I gathered in various books. We often don’t like other people solely because we recognize in them traits in ourselves that we either don’t like or wish we had. My own insecurity and jealousy would be triggered by certain posts and pictures, until I recognized and acknowledged that negative part of my personality, I wasn’t going to change. It took a lot of honest introspection to figure out the reasons why someone else’s reality would be so bothersome.
It turns out that when I love the reflection in the mirror, I am able to set aside my judgement of other’s and truly appreciate what they have to offer. Remembering that my confidence comes from being productive, physically active, loving toward my family, optimistic and gentle with myself helps to diminish those negative thoughts and feelings toward others. Letting go of all the skepticism and arrogance (even if I thought they were being obnoxious) made room for acceptance and self-love.
I also learned that in order to continue being positive, despite being bombarded with superficial information on Facebook, I needed to change my focus and stop comparing myself to other people’s selective moments.
Self-worth is a common theme that many of us struggle with on a daily basis. For that reason, it is vital to continually address, dissect and recognize this in ourselves. Only then can we be absolved of our negative self-concepts and create a productive joy-filled life. Unfortunately, there is an abundance of shame and guilt related to these feelings which can make it difficult to share openly and overcome.
Here’s the love…
If you view the world in a negative manner, it only makes you a negative person, and who wants to be around that?